Vantage points on forgiveness

Vantage Point is a 2008 American political-action thriller film with a unique plot development: the film replays a series of events taking place within a period of about 25 minutes. Each time the clock rewinds and the episode unfolds from a new vantage point, gradually revealing additional details until the complete story of what really occurred and who was really involved is unveiled at the film's climax.

When we take a look at something from a variety of vantage points or perspectives, something remarkable happens - we begin to realize there’s important details and a legitimate story happening beyond our initial understanding. In fact, I believe seeking multiple perspectives is related to the maxim in Proverbs 15:22: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (TNIV).

In thinking about forgiveness, I see three important vantage points to consider:

• Biblical: the principal worldview that shapes our thinking and values; rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ, specifically, Matt. 6:14-15: “For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (TNIV).
• Social: relating to human welfare and the ways people in groups behave and interact.
• Psychological: that which affects the mind and mental processes thus shaping the characteristic disposition/temperament of a person or group.

Together, these areas seem to function like interlocking perspectives of our lives:

In doing so, we could say that one area affects the other; i.e., when one moves the other is affected too. Conversely when one doesn’t move the others are impaired as well.

What is forgiveness?

Webster’s (1983) dictionary defines forgiving as “to give up resentment against or the desire to punish.” It seems the essence of forgiveness is a change in motives that promote social wellbeing. McCullough (2002) describes this as Prosocial motivations. In other words, the forgiver becomes less motivated to harm the reputation or future opportunities of another, instead becoming more motivated to promote whatever benefits the offender. If taken from the prosocial vantage point, could unforgiveness then be antisocial in nature? Hmm.

Who is the forgiving person?

McCullough points to research that suggests the ability to forgive is related to dimensions from the Big Five / Five Factor personality traits. Two of these areas are especially identified as influential to promoting forgiveness: agreeableness and emotional stability. But McCullough also mentions research that identifies spirituality as an important characteristic in a forgiving disposition. These studies suggest that people who identify themselves with a religious or spiritual tradition that highly values forgiveness tend to see themselves as more forgiving than those who do not identify themselves that way.

What specific things do people do that foster forgiveness?

McCullough describes three processes that have been studied and found to influence forgiveness:

• Empathy: the ability to identify with and understand somebody else’s feelings or difficulties.
• Generosity: a willingness to appraise the offender as more likable and accept their explanations for the situation as honest and adequate.
• Rumination: the extent to which the forgiver replays thoughts, feelings and images about the offence. The more people brood about a transgression, the more they are likely to seek revenge or distance themselves from the offender.

Yeah but…

A nagging question comes to mind here: What if I love God but struggle with agreeableness and emotional stability as part of my personality? Perhaps these areas are the weaknesses that hinder the person struggling to forgive rather than religious commitment. One way to find out is to take a Five Factor/Big Five personality inventory to measure those areas of temperament (see here). Another thing a person could consider is if they struggle with an emotional style that hinders forgiveness (see here).

In conclusion

No matter how often we have been forgiven by God, no matter how often we have forgiven or have been forgiven by other people, we are still learning to forgive and learning a little more about ourselves in the process. Forgiveness is not a skill that is mastered and then becomes second nature to us. The ability to forgive must be rediscovered in every painful situation.

Let the words of Paul especially motivate us: “Because of this, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ^Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect harmony.” (Col 3:12-14 TNIV)

Resources: 

Article on “Understanding Your Emotional Style.” Click here.

Five Factor / Big Five Personality Inventory. Click here.

McCullough, M. E. (2001). Forgiveness: Who does it and how do they do it? Current Directions in Psychological Science, 10, 194-197. PDF